[it was the way…]

it was the way you never looked for me that made me
want to stay lost. between the blinkless eye and the
staring navel is my heart. it is true, i hear you say
to her and i take this out of context. it is true that no
amount of carefully chosen words will ever make this
right. any impassioned eloquence now just looks ridiculous.
but i don’t want to take these things back. it is true that
you are turning the space between my lidless eye and
blinking navel into a desert. it was the way you never
looked for me, ever. halfway through your revolution,
you are the farthest from me that you will ever be.

[you want to download…]

you want to download his heart onto your desktop
digitize it so you can put it on repeat on your ipod
a symphony of heart beats on mp3 that you will
never send to any of your friends. some things
you refuse to share. you will fall asleep listening
to it, headphones a lifeline where you can pull
yourself up out of your dreams when you need
to breathe. when you wake up you will only
be able to speak in static. you will plug your
headphones into the jack in your own heart,
and hear nothing.