[somewhere between recognition...]

for shawn.

somewhere between recognition and acceptance
i sought to realign myself without further repentance
the universe had become accustomed to my grievances
but i have not grown used to life’s severances
even the stars, after a while, become repetitive
but lying next to you is my heart’s calming sedative
and when you call me yours gravity ceases to exist
and though the stars die their light continues to persist
i see them above the ocean inside your eyes
as we go to sleep together beneath these spinning skies.

[i never mistook you...]

for shawn.

i never mistook you, but i miss taking you
to the edge of a murmur, rolling over the
precipice of sleep, lotus-eyed and dreaming.
we were young once. while you were dancing
in dark basements i was breaking into other
boys’ hearts, armed with nothing but
a flashlight and a roving hand. but now we
are here, and i think it strange that i never
noticed the bags under your eyes like
shadowed ocean floor. i want to lay awake
next to you just to see what you say in your
sleep, if your subconscious can speak
the glyphs written upon my heart,
if it will be more than just a murmur.

untitled.

i. freeze

we were snow-blind with gray frost-bitten tongues
i tried to drown you in a frozen sea
but the ice was too thick so we lay there
unable to say what we really meant
(i wanted you to tell me you loved me)

ii. thaw

i pushed you under the icy water
held you until you said what i wanted
your blood pumped thickly and clogged up your veins
your tears were lumps of ice that could not speak
my heart was so hot it melted glaciers.

[our love was a dwindling myth...]

our love was a dwindling myth
passed down by tired mouths
and the time for snipped threads
was fast approaching. hearts
like signal fires lit the way
even though we knew we
couldn’t hide. leaving gifts
of broken watches for the gods,
we kissed gently but not without
urgency as the scissor blades
flashed. we were mostly frayed ends
anyway. i would have slipped
you a pomegranate seed if i
thought it would make you stay.